What "They" Look For? The Why Doctor? Theme The Why Exceptional? Theme The Why Qualified? Theme Editing Checklist
Why Exceptional?
Theme 2: Why I Am anExceptional Person
This theme is often tiedin closely with "why I am a qualified person." Be very clear on thedifference, though; the latter focuses specifically on your experience (medicalor otherwise) that qualifies you to be a better medical student, while theformer focuses strictly on you as a person. Committees are always on the lookoutfor well-rounded candidates. They want to see that you are interesting,involved, and tied to the community around you.
To help you think abouthow to support this theme, look at your answers to the exercises from the lastlesson and ask yourself: What makes me different? Do I have any special talentsor abilities that might make me more interesting? How will my skills andpersonality traits add diversity to the class? What makes me stand out from thecrowd? How will this help me to be a better physician and student?
If you are creative,you'll be able to take whatever makes you different and turn it to youradvantage.
The Talented Among Us
If you are one of a luckyfew who have an outstanding talent or ability, now is no time to hide it.Whether you are a star athlete, an opera singer, or a violin virtuoso, by allmeans make it a focus of your essay.
These people can be someof the strongest of candidates. Assuming, always, that they've excelled in therequired preparatory coursework, the other strengths can take them over the top.Athletes, musicians, and others can make the compelling case of excellence,achievement, discipline, mastering a subject/talent and leveraging theirabilities. Medical schools are full of these types; they thrive by bringing highachievers who possess intellectual ability into their realm.
If you do plan to focus ona strength outside the field of medicine, your challenge becomes one of how totie the experience of that ability into your motivation for becoming a doctor.
ThisHarvard applicant begins with a description of an African drumperformance during a Catholic Mass, and then ties nicely back to the musicaltheme in the last line.
Students of Diversity
If you are diverse in anysense of the word -- an older applicant, a minority, a foreign applicant, ordisabled -- use it to your advantage by showing what your unique background willbring to the school and to the practice of medicine. Some admissions officers,however, warn against using minority status as a qualification instead of aquality. If you fall into this trap, your diversity will work against you.
If you are a "studentof diversity," then of course, use it. But don't harp on it for it's ownsake or think that being diverse by itself is enough to get you in; that willonly make us feel manipulated and it will show that you didn't know how to takeadvantage of a good opportunity.
So just be sure you tie itin with either your motivation or your argument for why your diversity makes youa better candidate.
Latecomers and CareerSwitchers
You need not be a memberof a minority, a foreign applicant, disabled, or an athlete or musician to beconsidered diverse. There are, for example, those who have had experience in orprepared themselves for totally different fields. Thisessay was written by an archaeology student who was looking toswitch careers. If you plan to write such an essay, be sure to give succinctreasons for wanting to go into medicine and show evidence of sincere andintensive preparation for your new chosen field.
English Majors andTheater People
Not everyone who isaccepted to medical school has a hard-core science background. Thisessay opens with the author's involvement in a play, and she openlyadmits that she was initially turned off by science and math.
The secret of all theseessays is that they know how to turn their potential weaknesses into strengths.They point out that communication is an integral part of being a doctor, anddiscuss the advantages of their well-rounded backgrounds. They are also verycareful to demonstrate their motivation and qualifications in detail and withsolid evidence to offset worries that their non-science backgrounds may havegiven them an unrealistic view of a doctor's life or that they might be unableto cope with the science courses at medical school.
Taking Advantage ofInternational Experience
Many applicants haveinternational experience. So, while it may not set you apart in a completelyunique way, it is always worthwhile to demonstrate your cross-culturalexperience and sensitivity. Thisapplicant is especially strong in the area of internationalexperience. This exceptional man worked as a farmhand in Hungary and an orderlyin the former Soviet Union, financed the first hospital in Estonia, andorganized a mission to deliver medical supplies to refugees in Bosnia.
Notice that this applicantwent beyond simply writing about his experiences to relating them either to hismotivation and qualifications. Do not expect the committee to make these leapsfor you; you need to put it in your own words and make the connections clear. Religion Some admissions counselors advise against the mention of religion altogether.Others say that it can be used to applicants' advantage by setting them apartand by stressing values and commitment. This is a sensitive subject area and isbest left to individual choice. We caution against it unless you are amissionary, and even then, the values you would stress would be generic,non-religion specific values.
SampleEssay One
Note: This essayappears unedited for instructional purposes. Essays edited by EssayEdge aresubstantially improved. For samples of EssayEdge editing, please clickhere.
Musician/Drummer; ReligiousCatholic; Science and Math Tutor; Cancer Research Experience
The beating of an African healingdrum resonates throughout all corners of the Catholic church during the weeklyfive o'clock student mass. As I progressively increase the tempo and intensityof the resounding Guaguanca polyrhythm that I am playing, the congregationbegins to sway back and forth to the beat. Soon the members start clapping inunison on the quarter notes. By the end of the hymn, they are dancing in placeand singing along in high spirits. The mass is truly a celebration.
While a drumming performance inchurch may appear a little unorthodox, the concept of rhythm has never seemedvery offbeat to me. Music has always been a motivating passion in my life. Mydesire to play percussion was evident as early as third grade, when I would tapmy pencil on the top of my classroom desk and kick the chair in front tosimulate a bass drum. Rhythm seemed so fundamental to me. Besides beingbombarded with it through popular pop music, I could hear it in every tick ofthe clock, each person's gait, my own heartbeat. I longed to master it-to beable to manipulate it, incorporate it into my own being, and then finally conveyit to others. I began drum lessons. After seven years of basic mechanicaltraining, I developed my own style. Talent shows, parties, dances, evenreligious ceremonies became forums for my expression. I joined a band in highschool which became the ticket to a performance in Disneyworld. As a ChristianService project, my rock band performed at various inner-city grammar schools,hospitals, and nursing homes. In college, my main band became known as Harvard'snewest sensation. Soon we found ourselves performing in various clubs, parties,and school-sponsored concerts, and our recording culminated in the production ofa CD. I even began to convey my knowledge to a beginner, and had the pleasure ofwatching him grow in much the same manner as I had. The musical frontier seemedlimitless.
Concurrently, my passion forscience began to crystallize. I had always participated in the annual schoolscience fairs and after-school science-related activities, but it was not untilhigh school that I really began to appreciate my penchant for scientificreasoning. After learning the fundamental concepts, I sought any opportunity todemonstrate them in a creative manner. Everything was a puzzle. In anextracurricular high school program, I constructed a Bausch & Lombaward-winning contraption which integrated numerous laws of physics. I took thisa step further when I began to realize that I could demonstrate my love forscience in a way that could benefit others. I volunteered full-time in theemergency room of a local hospital during the last trimester of senior year. Itwas here that I caught my first glimpse of hands-on medicine. During the nextfew years, I tutored high school students in science and math. In addition tothe personal satisfaction obtained from observing their progress, this providedan excellent opportunity to hone my communication and teaching skills. Lastsummer, I worked in a cancer research laboratory in Memorial Sloan-KetteringHospital, attempting to isolate a gene that encoded for limb development inDrosophila. By September, our team had fully mapped and cloned Chip and waspreparing for publication. Senior thesis work on comparative avian, reptilian,and mammalian bone morphology also enabled me to integrate rudimentary mechanicsand personal interaction with professors and fellow peers.
It has become clear that the mostattractive features to me in the diverse fields of science and music are one andthe same. Music is a creative art form that conveys feelings and emotions in amanner unlike any other form of expression. It is, in a sense, a fascinatinglanguage with universal appeal. Science is both an art form and an exercise inmethodology. Part of its nature is strictly mechanistic, yet its application isalso an exercise in expression and communication. I certainly appreciate thebeauty and elegance of the underlying principles in both disciplines. However,it is the expression of these ideas and subsequent communication to others thatinspires me the most. My devotion to science and music has had a complimentaryeffect that has served both to enhance my method of thinking and to fulfill myyearning to communicate. I hope to continue to relate with others in the fieldof medicine, where creative application of science and keen expression isessential. I know that my concept of the rhythm of life will help keep megrounded in the fundamentals as I strive to convey and apply my knowledge andgifts to others.
SampleEssay Two
Archeology ThesisAnalyzing Bones of Prehistoric Woman
As part of my seniorthesis, I learned the remarkable story of a woman. I learned her story notthrough words but through her bones. My thesis consisted of cataloging,collecting data and analyzing a skeletal collection, consisting of this womanand approximately twenty-five other Chugach Eskimo excavated in the 1930's. Theywere to be reburied as part of the mandated repatriation of Native Americanremains. I volunteered to catalog the collection by myself to gather data for mysenior thesis. These data now serve as the permanent record for the collectionat the University Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology at the University ofPennsylvania.
This woman, known simplyto me as Palutat Cave B-1, gradually unfolded to me the extraordinary story ofher life by letting what remained of her body speak for her. She was a batteredwoman. Her bones bore the marks traditionally associated with battering. She hadthree healed wounds in the back of the skull, believed to be the result of herattempts to escape her batterer only to be struck in the head from behind. FromX-ray films, it was learned that her left forearm had also been broken (parryfracture) as she attempted to ward off blows. It is very possible that she wasbattered much more often than her wounds indicate. Clearly only a small fractionof blows are strong enough to leave their mark on the skeleton. At some point,infection entered the wounds to her left forearm, and osteomyelitis set in. Theosteomyelitis became severe and spread to her wrist and elbow. Somehow, shemanaged to live for at least another year. Eventually there was completeankylosis of the carpals, and virtually all cortical bone in the radius and ulnawas lost. Thus her forearm was rendered dysfunctional. During that time, herleft humerus and scapula underwent substantial disuse atrophy, a clearindication that the arm was of no use to her. Instead she used her teeth to holdobjects and assist in the performance of daily tasks, as shown by the greatlyincreased amount of wear on her incisors. Yet somehow, she managed to live tothe age where the protein-rich diet of the Chugach takes it toll in the form ofosteoporosis. Probably unrelated to previous trauma, her T12 vertebra hadcollapsed. Although aging an archeological sample is more art than science, shemost likely died in her thirties.
After sixty years in theUniversity Museum, Palutat Cave B-1 is now at home and at peace in PrinceWilliam Sound, Alaska, in a cedar coffin made by her descendants. I am gratefulfor the extraordinary opportunity I had to learn part of her story. Although itis difficult to speculate about temperament or attitude, this woman must havebeen strong and determined to have survived as long as she did. Her life wasclearly filled with physical pain. As I put together her story, I began to feelfor this woman who had struggled so hard to survive. It was a strange feeling tobe able to piece together this woman's story of pain by the scars it had left onher bones. I felt both impressed by this woman who had survived so much andexcited for having been able to extract so much information from bones alone. Ihad enjoyed it, but in the end, I could do nothing to help her. My experiencewith Palutat Cave B-1 and the rest of the Chugach collection has given me agreat respect for the ability of the human body to adapt to adversity. I sawfirsthand the results of the skeletal system's response to stressful conditions:trauma, disease, and inadequate nutrition. I am still amazed at the efficiencyof the skeletal system and its incredible ability to deal with adverseconditions.
To a large extent, mychoice to become a physician is rooted in my desire to continue to work with thehuman body. But I want to work with the living. I want to work with people I canhelp. As a physician, I will be able to assist the human body in the healingprocess. Though my work with the Chugach collection inspired me to learn moreabout the human body, it lacked the element of genuine human interaction. Thisis a feature of medicine I have found to be especially appealing in myexperience since graduating from Penn. I want to continue to learn and todiscover more about the human body through work with people and through thestudy of medicine.
SampleEssay Three
Liberal Arts/TheaterBackground; Lab Experience in Reproductive Ecology; Teaching Assistant; ClinicalResearch Experience and Women's Clinic Volunteer
It was opening night. Iwas about to walk on stage as Ruth in The Pirates of Penzance. Any sane actorwould be singing scales, or meditating, or reviewing dialogue. I was spittinginto a test tube. Later, I would assay the saliva for cortisol and compare theresults with my normal cortisol levels. Discovering what was happening in mybody as the curtain prepared to rise was worth the temporary distraction fromthe pirate king.
"Spit happens,"as we say in my lab. Spit happened to me during the summer after my sophomoreyear in college. I worked in the Reproductive Ecology Laboratory at HarvardUniversity, measuring steroid hormones in saliva by radioimmunoassay. I hadnever considered my self a science whiz, and I took the job with a littletrepidation. I pipetted until my thumb ached and washed an endless stream ofglassware, but the end result was something amazing. With those tiny vials ofsaliva, I could track my menstrual cycle. I could measure my brother'stestosterone levels, or my own-which I hadn't even known I had. I realized thatI was doing science. I was doing it well and enjoying it. I went on to completemy senior honors thesis on the relationship between cortisol levels andtemperament in shy adolescents. In the lab, I discovered the fascination ofresearch and the discipline needed to carry it out. I am excited to becontinuing my work there as a researcher and teaching assistant for the 1993-94school year.
About the same time spithappened to me, I found myself writing research papers on a consistent set ofthemes. For my women's history class, I wrote about the turn of the centurymovement for "twilight sleep" anesthesia in childbirth. For mysophomore tutorial in anthropology, I researched the effects of social supporton the duration and complications of labor and delivery. For my sociology class,I investigated the controversy surrounding the Depo Provera contraceptive. Mypassion for these topics and my interest in science fueled a growing desire togo to medical school. I began taking pre-med classes and continued pursuingthese interests, both in and out of the classroom.
At Lutheran GeneralHospital in Park Ridge, Illinois, I studied patients who had undergonelaparoscopic surgery for uterine fibroids and ovarian cysts. While gatheringclinical data, reading literature, and observing surgeries, I was amazed by theresults of such non-invasive techniques, and had visions of holding thelaparoscope myself in a few years. I enjoyed being part of the rhythms of a busyobstetrics and gynecology practice and solidified my desire to be a doctor.
As a volunteer in awomen's health clinic in Boston, during my senior year in college, I answeredphones and made appointments and referrals. I discovered how much good I coulddo just by listening and focusing my attention on the person on the phone. Thatsimple act did so much to alleviate a woman's worries and uncertainties. I alsolearned to treat each patient with fairness and decency, regardless of hercircumstances. I know that the things I can accomplish listening with theadditional skills of a physician are extraordinary.
Much of my remaining sparetime in college was spent working in theater. While president of the Harvard-RadcliffeGilbert and Sullivan Players, I led a board of fifteen strong-willed, outspokenpeers. I made sure each person was heard in discussions and that the groupremained focused. As producer of several plays, I was thrilled to watch thecurtain rise, knowing I had harnessed the energies and talents of dozens ofpeople to make the show happen. Through my work in theater, I learned to keep mystress levels reasonable and my temper intact while juggling innumerable tasks-usually on very few hours of sleep.
In college, I became onepart scientist, one part counselor, and one part leader. My interest in how ourbodies work and how we relate to those bodies continues to grow in tandem withmy vision of myself as a physician. I know that with the skills I gained incollege, from techniques in the laboratory to group leadership in theaterproduction to listening and compassion on the clinic telephone, I am wellprepared to enter medical school. And I can't wait to see what it does to mycortisol levels.
SampleEssay Four
Worked on Grandfather'sFarm in Hungary; Orderly/ Surgery Assistant in Former U.S.S.R.; OrganizedFinancing for First Private Hospital in Estonia and Mission for Bosnian Refugees
In communist Hungary in1986 ownership of property meant certain things. It meant that you were envyedby your neighbors. It meant that you were mistrusted by the state. It meant thatyou were prohibited by a government which feared the reemergence of a landedaristocracy from purchasing machinery or hiring laborers. Above all it meant youheld on to your land for all you were worth and cherished it as your mostprecious family heirloom.
In 1986 and in thefollowing summer, my parents sent my sister and I to Hungary to work on myGrandparent's farm as they were getting old and unable to manage it any longeron their own, particularly in light of the communist restrictions on privatelandowners. I woke up at five, harvested hay by hand, tended the cows, andspread manure. I used the same tools my great-grandfather used and on the sameland that he had tended a century ago. A fifteen year old boy with little senseof responsibility or of himself, the experience hit me with the force of acyclone.
In 1993 I was awarded afellowship to work in the health sector of the former Estonian Republic of theU.S.S.R. I was employed as an orderly in the operating theater of what was oncethe elite Communist Party hospital. I assisted in surgery, performed twenty-fourhour shifts, distributed humanitarian aid, and wrote reports for the Ministry ofHealth that went from my hands to the directors of the World Bank and U.N. WorldHealth Organization. The experience cemented my plans for becoming a physicianand also convinced me that I wanted a career with policy- and theory-shapingresponsibilities beyond those of the ordinary doctor.
In addition to beingentrusted with work no twenty-one year old in America would be allowed toperform. I saw history being written before my eyes. I got a sense of the degreeto which an individual, with enough motivation and a few good ideas, can be aneffective force for positive change. I understood the responsibility and thecapacity we all have to work for the good of society. The experience wastremendously empowering as it gave me the perspective and self confidence toattempt to seize the future and the ambition to attempt to change the world tothe degree I can. With two other Columbia students and a group of Estoniandoctors I organized an attempt to finance the first private hospital in Estoniawhich indirectly contributed to the first Estonian laws on health careprivatization and reform. Since my return I have with another Columbia studentorganized a mission to travel to the N. camp in southern Hungary to distributeclothing and medical supplies to the Bosnian refugees. My role has been in theobtaining of funds and in acting as an intermediary between our group of 10Columbia University students, two of whom spent this past summer working in thecamp, and Hungarian officials here and in Hungary.
I became an adult duringmy first summer in Hungary. The same changes that have allowed my grandfather tohold onto his land allowed me to first test in Estonia the wings I had developedyears earlier. I hope to use those wings make an impact on medical science.Genetics and biochemistry represent the future of medicine and the area in whichsomeone with ambition, a desire to work for the public good, and the necessarytechnical background could make the most significant contribution. Motivation,independence, maturity, precisely those qualities my experiences in EasternEurope instilled, will be essential to a fruitful career. I can imagine nonepotentially more fulfilling, nor a more worthy aim for my life's work, thanconnecting the worlds of medical science and international public health.
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Move on to Lesson Two: Brainstorming a Topic