What "They" Look For?   The Why Doctor? Theme   The Why Exceptional? Theme   The Why Qualified? Theme     Editing Checklist

What"They" Look For

Quotes by members ofour panel of admissions officers are in italics.

During that first, quicklook at your file (transcripts, science and nonscience GPAs, MCAT scores,application, recommendations, and personal statement), what the admissionscommittee seeks is essentially the same: 

1. Proven ability to succeed.
2. Clear intellectual ability, analytical and critical thinking skills.
3. Evidence that this person has the potential to make not only a good medical student, but a good doctor.

But the committee islooking for more than this in the essay specifically. We will discuss in detailthe essay issues that were listed as most important by our advisory panel ofadmissions officers.

Motivation

Your application to medical school is a testimony to your desire to ultimatelybe a doctor. The admissions committee will look at your essay to see that you'veanswered the obvious, but not so simple, question "Why?" You must beable to explain your motivation for attending medical school.

I look for a sustained understanding of why the candidate wants to enter medicine, how they've tested their interest, and how they've prepared for medical school.

Touch on your passion to pursue medicine. For many, medicine is akin to a calling, and the evaluator must get a sense that they are hearing and responding to the same motivation.

You will be offered muchadvice in the upcoming pages, with plenty of do's and don'ts. In the midst ofall of this, whatever you do, do not lose sight of the ultimate goal of theessay-to convince the admissions committee members that you belong at theirmedical school. Everything we tell you should be used as a means to this end, sostep back from the details of this process regularly and remind yourself of thebig picture: 

The essay is the way for candidates to make the argument as to why they, among all the highly qualified candidates, should be admitted to medical school and the eventual practice of medicine.

Writing/CommunicationSkills

Another obvious functionof the essay is to showcase your language abilities and writing skills.

In the essay I want a clear sense that they understand and can communicate well why they are compelling candidates.

Especially if an applicant did some or all of the prerequisite coursework in another country, we will look to the essay to ensure strong English language skills.

At this level, goodwriting skills are not sought; they are expected. So, while a beautifullywritten essay isn't going to get you into medical school, a poorly written onecould keep you out.

Beyond showcasing yourwriting abilities and demonstrating your motivation, what else can the essay dofor you? Following is more of what the members of the advisory panel said theylook for in an essay.

Soft Skills

Let the rest of yourapplication, not the personal statement, speak for your hard skills andachievements (such as your academic excellence, your fantastic MCAT scores, yourclass rank). What admissions officers seek in the essay are some specific softskills such as sincerity, maturity, empathy, compassion, and motivation. Thesequalities were rated especially high in the medical community, more so than forany other graduate-level program we studied. 

Because these qualitiesare not quantifiable, and therefore not easily demonstrated through the usualcriteria of grades and numbers, the essay is your first opportunity (and one ofyour only ones) to showcase them.

A successful essay willdemonstrate in one way or another that the writer has the soft skills necessaryto be a good doctor. This applicantwas very direct in asserting his soft skills.

Motivation, independence, maturity, precisely those qualities my experiences in Eastern Europe instilled, will be essential to a fruitful career.

When qualities arementioned as directly as this, the applicant must be careful to support theclaims with clear evidence gathered from personal experience. More often,applicants let their achievements and experiences speak for themselves, and thequalities that they demonstrate are inferred. 

A Real Person

This list is not ordered by importance; if it were, this category would belisted first. What our admissions officers said they seek more than any specificskill or characteristic mentioned in the personal statement is a real, livehuman being:

The members of a medical admissions committee are responsible for choosing the next generation of medical doctors. These are the people who will be healing our children, curing us and our parents, and literally saving lives. Put it in that perspective and the responsibility we feel is enormous. For this reason, we're going to choose to accept someone we feel we know, trust, and like.

In light of this, then, itmight not surprise you that when we asked admissions officers and medicalstudents for their number one piece of advice regarding the essay, we receivedthe same response almost every time. Although it was expressed in many differentways (be honest, be sincere, be unique, be personal, and so on) it all came downto the same point: "Be Yourself!"

My number one piece of advice is: Be yourself when you write the essay. The medical profession is a lifetime commitment. Let those in the profession know what drives you towards it!

Unfortunately, achievingthis level of communication in writing does not come naturally to everyone, butthat does not mean it cannot be learned. Part of what can make this kind ofwriting seem so difficult is that it is very hard to gauge the impressions youare creating through your writing. Even if you have followed every tip in thiscourse, it is a good idea to have some objective people-preferably those who donot already know you well-read it over when you have finished. 

Get Personal

The only way to let theadmissions committee see you as an individual is to make your essay personal.When you do this, your essay will automatically be more interesting andengaging, helping it stand out from the hundreds of others the committee will bereviewing that week.

After reading hundreds of essays in my time on the Harvard Medical School admissions committee, I would tell people a couple of key things. First, make it personal. The most boring, dry essays are those that go on about how the applicant loves science and working with people and wants to serve humanity, but offer few personal details that give a sense of what the applicant is like.

Personalize your essay as much as possible-generic essays are not only boring to read, they're a waste of time because they don't tell you anything about the applicant that helps you get to know them better.

What does it mean to makeyour essay personal? It means that you drop the formalities and write aboutsomething that is truly meaningful to you. It means that you include a story oranecdote taken from your life, using ample detail and colorful imagery to giveit life. And it means, above all, being completely honest. 

Please see our sampleessays for examples of essays that get personal, including the essay by this Dukeapplicant. The writer begins by recollecting her experience withanorexia and her admiration for the doctor who saved her life. But it is morethan the story that makes her essay real -- it is the way that she describes herexperiences. She uses a personal tone throughout the essay, for example when shedescribes herself while volunteering at an AIDS clinic:

- I am constantly reminded of how much I have to learn. I look at a baby and notice its cute, pudgy toes. Dr. V. plays with it while conversing with its mother, and in less than a minute has noted its responsiveness, strength, and attachment to its parent, and checked its reflexes, color and hydration. Gingerly, I search for the tympanic membrane in the ears of a cooperative child and touch an infant's warm, soft belly, willing my hands to have a measure of Dr. V.'s competence.

It is her admittance thatshe doesn't yet know everything she needs to know coupled with the picture shepaints of herself noticing a baby's "cute pudgy toes" and"gingerly" searching in "the ear of a cooperative child" andtouching "an infant's warm, soft belly." As readers, we do not have tostrain to create a mental image of the author as a caring, still somewhattentative individual. This vivid portrayal is painted by a series of personaldetails.

Just as this writer didnot rely on her story of anorexia to make her essay personal, one admissionsofficer comments: 

A personal epiphany, tragedy, life change, or earth-shattering event is not essential to a strong essay.

This point cannot bestressed enough. Personal does not necessarily mean heavy, or emotional, or aweinspiring. It is a small minority of students who will truly have had alife-changing event to write about. Perhaps they have spent time living abroador have experienced death or disease from close proximity. But this is theexception and not the rule.

In fact, students who relytoo heavily on these weighty experiences often do themselves an injustice. Theyoften don't think about what has really touched them or interests them becausethey are preoccupied with the topic that they think will impress the committee.They write about their grandfather's death because they think that only death(or the emotional equivalent) is significant enough to make them seemintrospective and mature. What often happens, however, is that they rely on theexperience itself to speak for them and never explain what it meant to them orgive a solid example of how it was emotionally influencing. In other words, theydon't make it personal.

Details, Details,Details

To make your essaypersonal, learn from the example above and use details. Show, don't tell, whoyou are by backing your claims with real experiences.

Essays only really help you if they are unique and enable the reader to get a sense of who you are based on examples and scenarios and ideas, rather than lists of what you've done. The readers want to find out who this person is, not what the person has done, although the two are obviously interrelated.

The key words from thisquote are examples, scenarios, and ideas. Using detail means being specific.Each and every point that you make needs to be backed up by specific instancestaken from your experience. It is these details that make your story unique andinteresting. 

Tell a Story

Tell a story. It always makes for more interesting reading and it usually conveys something more personal than such blanket statements as "I want to help people."

Incorporating a story intoyour essay can be a great way to make it interesting and enjoyable. The safestand most common way of integrating a story into an essay is to tell the storyfirst, then step back into the role of narrator and explain why it was presentedand what lessons were learned. The reason this method works is that it forcesyou to begin with the action, which is a sure way to get the readers' attentionand keep them reading. A story is best used to draw the reader in, and it shouldalways relate back to the motivation to attend medical school or the ability tosucceed once admitted.

SampleEssay One

Note: This essayappears unedited for instructional purposes. Essays edited by EssayEdge aresubstantially improved. For samples of EssayEdge editing, please clickhere.

Worked on Grandfather's Farm inHungary; Orderly/ Surgery Assistant in Former U.S.S.R.; Organized Financing forFirst Private Hospital in Estonia and Mission for Bosnian Refugees

In communist Hungary in 1986ownership of property meant certain things. It meant that you were envyed byyour neighbors. It meant that you were mistrusted by the state. It meant thatyou were prohibited by a government which feared the reemergence of a landedaristocracy from purchasing machinery or hiring laborers. Above all it meant youheld on to your land for all you were worth and cherished it as your mostprecious family heirloom.

In 1986 and in the followingsummer, my parents sent my sister and I to Hungary to work on my Grandparent'sfarm as they were getting old and unable to manage it any longer on their own,particularly in light of the communist restrictions on private landowners. Iwoke up at five, harvested hay by hand, tended the cows, and spread manure. Iused the same tools my great-grandfather used and on the same land that he hadtended a century ago. A fifteen year old boy with little sense of responsibilityor of himself, the experience hit me with the force of a cyclone.

In 1993 I was awarded a fellowshipto work in the health sector of the former Estonian Republic of the U.S.S.R. Iwas employed as an orderly in the operating theater of what was once the eliteCommunist Party hospital. I assisted in surgery, performed twenty-four hourshifts, distributed humanitarian aid, and wrote reports for the Ministry ofHealth that went from my hands to the directors of the World Bank and U.N. WorldHealth Organization. The experience cemented my plans for becoming a physicianand also convinced me that I wanted a career with policy- and theory-shapingresponsibilities beyond those of the ordinary doctor.

In addition to being entrusted withwork no twenty-one year old in America would be allowed to perform. I sawhistory being written before my eyes. I got a sense of the degree to which anindividual, with enough motivation and a few good ideas, can be an effectiveforce for positive change. I understood the responsibility and the capacity weall have to work for the good of society. The experience was tremendouslyempowering as it gave me the perspective and self confidence to attempt to seizethe future and the ambition to attempt to change the world to the degree I can.With two other Columbia students and a group of Estonian doctors I organized anattempt to finance the first private hospital in Estonia which indirectlycontributed to the first Estonian laws on health care privatization and reform.Since my return I have with another Columbia student organized a mission totravel to the N. camp in southern Hungary to distribute clothing and medicalsupplies to the Bosnian refugees. My role has been in the obtaining of funds andin acting as an intermediary between our group of 10 Columbia Universitystudents, two of whom spent this past summer working in the camp, and Hungarianofficials here and in Hungary.

I became an adult during my firstsummer in Hungary. The same changes that have allowed my grandfather to holdonto his land allowed me to first test in Estonia the wings I had developedyears earlier. I hope to use those wings make an impact on medical science.Genetics and biochemistry represent the future of medicine and the area in whichsomeone with ambition, a desire to work for the public good, and the necessarytechnical background could make the most significant contribution. Motivation,independence, maturity, precisely those qualities my experiences in EasternEurope instilled, will be essential to a fruitful career. I can imagine nonepotentially more fulfilling, nor a more worthy aim for my life's work, thanconnecting the worlds of medical science and international public health.

SampleEssay Two

Note: This essayappears unedited for instructional purposes. Essays edited by EssayEdge aresubstantially improved. For samples of EssayEdge editing, please clickhere.

Survivor of Anorexia;Emergency Medical Technician Training; Clinic Experience; Medical Volunteer inHonduras; HIV Test Counselor

I decided that I wanted tobe a doctor sometime after my four month incarceration in Columbia PresbyterianChildren's Hospital in the winter of 1986-87, as I struggled with anorexianervosa. Through the maturation process that marked my recovery, I slowly cameto realize that my pediatrician had saved my life-despite my valiant efforts tothe contrary. Out of our individual stubborn wills was born a kind of mutualrespect, and he is one of the people who make up my small collection of heroes.

I admire doctors whounderstand both what is said and what is held back, who move comfortably aroundthe world of the body, and who treat all patients with respect. I am luckybecause a few of them have become my impromptu teachers, taking a little extratime to instruct me in anatomy, disease or courtesy. During my Emergency MedicalTechnician training, one of the emergency room doctors took me to radiology topoint out the shadow of a fracture in a CT-scan and trusted me to hold a littlegirl's lip while he inserted sutures. The physicians in the Hospital 12 deOctubre in Madrid, Spain taught me to hear lung sounds and to feel an enlargedliver and spleen. They explained the social and medical difficulties associatedwith the management of pediatric AIDS until I understood the Spanish well enoughto begin asking questions; then they answered them.

I work now in the MayfieldCommunity Clinic, which provides primary care to members of the Spanish-speakingcommunity near Stanford University. My job as a patient advocate involves takinghistories, performing simple procedures and providing family planning and HIVcounseling. I try to use the knowledge I have gained from class and practice toformulate the right set of questions to ask each patient, but I am constantlyreminded of how much I have to learn. I look at a baby and notice its cute,pudgy toes. Dr. V. plays with it while conversing with its mother, and in lessthan a minute has noted its responsiveness, strength, and attachment to itsparent, and checked its reflexes, color and hydration. Gingerly, I search forthe tympanic membrane in the ears of a cooperative child and touch an infant'swarm, soft belly, willing my hands to have a measure of Dr. V.'s competence.

I first felt the need tobe competent regarding the human body when I volunteered with the Amigos de LasAmericas program in the town of T. in Lempira, Honduras. The hospital availableto the people of T. (at a day's ride in the bed of a truck) was "where onewent to die," so my partner and I, with our basic first aid certificationsand our $15 Johnson & Johnson kits, quickly became makeshift"doctors". The responsibility initially created a heady feeling; adistressed mother called on us to bandage the toe her eight-year-old son hadaccidentally sliced to the bone with his machete. I told him the story of Beautyand the Beast in broken Spanish while my partner and I soaked the dirt from histoe, and during the following week we watched him heal.

Then our foster-mother,who normally tended to the sick, told my partner and me to "check on thefoot" of D. The gentle-eyed, sixty-five year old man lay on his bed, hisleg encased in bloody bandages from mid-calf to toe. After performing surgery,the hospital had given him a bottle of injectable antibiotics and some cleanneedles and sent him home without bandages or further instructions. My partnerand I had not been trained to handle so serious a situation. We did not knowwhat had happened; we did not know what the antibiotics were (or if they wereactually antibiotics); we did not know if handling D.'s blood put us at risk fordisease. We wanted to leave, but leaving the house meant leaving D. andbetraying our foster-mother's trust. So we injected the antibiotics and cleanedand bandaged the wound every day for our remaining two weeks in Hondurasalthough we felt ill-equipped for the responsibility, crippled by our ignoranceand lack of supplies.

In T., I did not feelqualified to receive the trust the townspeople gave so willingly. As anHIV-antibody test counselor in California, I struggle everyday to win myclients' confidence. Somehow a twenty-one-year-old, Caucasian female must besincere, knowledgeable and open enough to earn the respect of afifty-five-year-old man who could be her father, a high school sophomore, anex-drug addict, and a pregnant Latina woman. My clients are black, white,straight, gay, Ph.D. candidates and illiterate; some choose to come to me whileothers have court-orders. Yet to communicate effectively, each client must haveenough confidence in me to engage in dialogue about his drug or sex life and tobelieve what I tell him, whether or not he chooses to act on our discussion.

Speaking with patients,doctors and community members has opened my eyes to some of the difficultiesinvolved with healthcare provision, and I hope I have given some inspiration orcomfort in exchange for the knowledge I have received. I want these lessons inopenness and compassion to shape my understanding of medicine and allow me tobecome the type of doctor I admire.

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